I adore books. I know; that’s a really shocking statement from an author. I love starting a new story, getting to know the characters and then slowly becoming so obsessed with it that you’d happily ignore family members for a few days so that you can finish it. However, what I don’t love is the pressure that sometimes surrounds reading.
I’ve spoken many blog posts ago about the pressure I have felt in regard to reading classic literature even though they are not stories that I’m usually drawn to and I think that intensity can also be applied more generally. How many times have you seen someone you follow on Instagram tell you that you HAVE to read X, Y or Z? Or when the ‘Top Books of 2020’ type lists are released and you immediately start ticking off the ones you think you should buy? I am not knocking recommendations by any stretch of the imagination; I treasure a friend who tells me of a book they think I’ll enjoy and I really think it’s a gift you can give to someone. Pressure to read is an entirely different beast. During lockdown I have to a certain extent placed this pressure on myself as much as anything or anyone else has. I think a lot of us have thought that this is the perfect time to make our way through our ‘To Read’ lists as, in theory, we have less distractions. I have tried and I’ve managed to tick off two but for some reason that feels like a failure (never mind that I’ve been busy with work and trying to format my own paperback!) However, I think it’s quite clear that time we choose to take off for ourselves is very different from time we are forced to take off. I think the worst part of this ‘reading pressure’s is that it actually comes from ourselves. As much as we want to say that we’ve read a book on the Times bestsellers list does it actually matter if it’s not something we want to read? When I was a child like most of the globe’s ankle biters I was in love with the Harry Potter books. As soon as a new book came out I would beg my mum to make sure she bought it for me asap and then it would almost be a race between my schoolfriends and I as to who could read it first. I vividly remember my mum telling me that I should be reading because I enjoy it, not because I need to run into school and tell my friends that I’ve finished the book. This is something I regularly try to remind myself of. On a personal note I have tried my best to ensure that none of my friends have felt like they have had to read my book. I am so grateful that they want to be supportive and it means so much that so many have proofread or bought the book (and it’s even lovelier when they say they like it) but I understand that it won’t be for everyone. When someone says it’s on their list and they’ll eventually get around to it, I really don’t mind! I would much rather people choose to read it on their own terms, at their own pace and only if they want to. So if like me you are feeling the weight of many an unread book gathering dust on your shelf just relax! The books will still be there when you’re ready to give them your full attention and right now I honestly feel like our priorities should just be to get through the day however feels right for us. Stories are meant to absorbed, explored and, hopefully, enjoyed. The whole experience will be tainted if its motivated by pressure; it’s far better to hunker down with a cuppa and a book when your mind is ready for it.
0 Comments
We’re all struggling at the moment and for some people it is a lot harder than others to just survive during lockdown. I may not fully acknowledge it every day (as much as I try but I’m a selfish, flawed human) but I am fully aware of how lucky I am right now. I live in a safe home surrounded by my family with plenty of food and we’re all healthy.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that my head doesn’t regularly want to implode with the overwhelming relentlessness that lockdown brings. I miss dates with my boyfriend, I miss seeing my friends in the flesh, I miss going to dance socials and classes and most of all I miss a good old hug! I honestly think I would hug anyone right now because it has been so long. I want to see all of my nearest and dearest and just embrace them for dear life. One of my best friends had a baby at the beginning of the year and every time I see her on Skype I just want to jump through the screen and give her the world’s biggest cuddle. Nevertheless, I am trying to stay as positive as I can because it doesn’t look like life will be normal for a very long time. I practice gratitude everyday without fail, even though sometimes I don’t feel very grateful and I actually feel better just embracing the sadness I’m feeling, but I have been surprised by some of the things that have given me a moment of happiness. For the purposes of length I am not including Skyping with friends because that’s a whole blog post in itself and they OBVIOUSLY bring me so much happiness! 1.Having my meals cooked for me Just before lockdown was announced I moved back in with my parents and my brother as I’m a type 1 diabetic and knew that I’d feel more comfortable relying on them if shit got real. I’d also really miss not being able to see them and they have a desk so I can work from home without injuring myself! I have tried my best not to regress to my more youthful years but my brother has become quite the chef recently and quite often cooks for us. Despite his passion for putting butter and cream in EVERYTHING it is just really lovely having someone cook for me; it feels so homely and is definitely something I look forward to at the end of the day. 2. Putting on freshly washed leggings We’re all in joggers and leggings now, it’s a fact of life. And when they’ve just been washed and you slip them on the level of comfort is just heaven. See also freshly washed bedding for a similar thrill. 3. A mini lie in I’m fortunate enough to be working from home at the moment which means no commuting for the time being and an extra hour in bed! Follow that up with a cuppa made by my dad on his working from home days and it’s not a bad way to start the day. 4. I have a chance to focus on my diabetes For anyone familiar with diabetes it’s a complete mindfuck of a condition that rarely sticks to the rules it sets itself. I have been trying for years to get better control and it’s a daily struggle but lockdown has actually given me a chance to monitor my sugar levels a lot more closely. I’m really hoping that when this over things will be more stable! 5. I’m exercising more Well, I think I am. I’m not someone who hates exercise but I’m quite picky about what I do. I lean more towards dance based workouts rather than burpees, lunges, weights etc. and so I’ve found a really good YouTube channel (The Fitness Marshall) to keep me busy throughout lockdown. I started doing it because I felt I had to do something and then it went from that to ‘well it fills a gap in my day’ to now being something that I look forward to doing as much as possible. This isn’t just for my physical health but as someone who loves dancing it gives me an hour of just doing something fun which can be hard to find right now. I’ve also been trying to keep up with swing dancing/solo jazz which is a big passion of mine so shout out to Cardiff based The Swing Project for the incredible online classes (go check them out!) 6. Being able to format my paperback Like everyone else I have had a lot more time on my hands which means I’ve finally been able to sit down and format my paperback. Turns out it isn’t as scary as I thought and should be finished very soon! 7. So much more cake My mother is a strong advocate for nearly always eating a piece of cake when you have a cup of tea. It’s very rare these days that the kettle goes on without a ‘Do you want anything with this, love?’ and the cupboards are well stocked with a variety of baked goods. I love that woman. N.B Yes, diabetics can eat cake. Never ask a diabetic if they can eat something or they will eat you. |
Archives
January 2023
Categories
All
|