A few weeks ago, I wrote the acknowledgement section of my book. This was a very strange experience as I’d never written one before and trying to find the words to appropriately express how grateful I am towards certain people seemed like a mammoth task. I felt like a fake writer and my imposter syndrome was at an all-time high. However, due to current circumstances my mind has kept going back to those words.
I don’t need to tell you how scary things are at the moment, you can just pick up your phone and it will be there, but through the cracks of the panic and negativity there are beams of positivity and community shining through. Every time I see someone post on Facebook a new way for us to interact with each other, whether it’s free online workouts, a gig in the kitchen or someone offering to check in on their neighbours, I can’t help but think ‘Ha ha, fuck you coronavirus!’ Every morning as I drive into work (this has now been replaced with me walking from my bedroom to my dad’s study) I recite all the things I’m grateful for, from the little to the large, and it’s an excellent way to remind myself that even when things are really, exceptionally shit I’ve still got amazing people in my life and I’m fortunate in so many ways. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t always work but even if it only makes me feel better for ten minutes I like to class it as a win. This is why I think there is no point in waiting for my book to be released in order to praise the people who helped make it a reality. We’re all doing our best to keep our chins up and not go stir crazy because, somehow, you’ve found yourself back in your childhood home and there isn’t a single bloody drawer for you to put your socks in. I want to do all I can to put some cheesy, smooshy, lovely positivity out there and hope that this blog post makes the below people smile for just a second. You are the toppest of the top bananas and this is for you: ‘This is the first time I have ever written one of these things and it's possibly one of the most surreal writing experiences I've ever had. Nevertheless, people need to be thanked and thanked they shall! Firstly, I would like to thank you, dear reader, for taking a chance on this book. I know how many authors are out there, especially indie authors, and the fact that you chose to read this story, which has been in my head for oh so long, is incredibly humbling. A massive thank you must also go to Becky Sandy for creating the beautiful covers for this book and being the first person ever to read any version of this story. Becky, not only are you insanely talented but it is a complete pleasure to know you. To everyone who read the book and gave me notes (Bex, Emily, Alex and Elen) you are all so brilliant and kind. Sending a piece of writing to people who know you is next level nerve wracking but you all gave me the confidence to finally publish this work and I know it's better for it. Mark and Charlotte, you didn't know this at the time but it is thanks to working with you (allbeit for a short period) that you gifted me with the lesson of 'put yourself out there and see what happens.' I have no doubt that this change in thinking is what led me to decide to finally publish this book. Finally, I have to end this list by thanking my family. This book is dedicated to my grandparents; they helped to shape so much of who I am and I will miss them forever so I hope that this is a worthy tribute. They are built into almost every page of this book. To my parents and Ieuan, all I can say is thank you for continuing to put up with my shit and supporting me in a way that is impossible to fully comprehend or explain. You are amazing.’
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I’m sure you’re aware that today is International Women’s Day; a day created to encourage conversations surrounding the empowerment and growth of women in society. I have been a feminist since aged two when my mother walked into the living room one day to find me watching Mary Poppins and marching around shouting “Well done, Sister Suffragette! Votes for women!” (a very famous story in the Rees household, fyi) and so it really was inevitable that I’d be very vocal about women’s rights later in life. I also now feel that it was inevitable that I would be drawn to writing about women; I used to feel guilty about only female protagonists appearing in my mind but now I fully embrace it.
I honestly believe that prose is one of the only mediums that has allowed female characters the space to explore their glorious multifaceted personalities. In no way am I pitting novels against film and television because I adore them all but I guarantee if you were asked to reel off a list of fictious women who don’t fit a female stereotype (of which there are many and that issue requires a whole other blog post) the majority of the list would be from novels. I feel like they’re allowed the time to be messy, hilarious, disgusting and everything in between rather than racing through the story beats. One of the tropes I have always struggled wit is that of a ‘strong female character’ because in theory it seems like an ideal I would want my characters to strive towards. They can hold their own against the men folk, they don’t measure their self-worth against their looks and, generally speaking, engage in the things that are seen as more masculine. I find this complicated and confusing because we all know that women can both embrace traditional femininity or completely reject it and still be ‘strong.’ What the hell does ‘strong’ mean anyway? Does she have to be able to bench press 200 kilos? Remain calm when tragedy is surrounding her? Not yell at the prick who just catcalled her? Can she not just be? I think that perhaps the term was coined to please both men who may be scared off by a female protagonist and to also attract women who are, rightly so, fed up of decades of one dimensional portrayals. When creating my protagonist for The Arben Bridge I was very aware of this trope being attributed to her and it was something I felt a little uneasy about. I wanted to create a character who was a fighter but not because she was surrounded by gender politics but because it’s a requirement for her job (and she’s just mad keen on fighting in all honesty.) She’s physically strong and mentally strong because that is simply the way she is and if she wasn’t she would probably be sacked. Of course, this in itself is a contrived decision on my behalf. I’m not self-righteous enough to believe that I can change the world but I am confident enough in my own beliefs that I would find it impossible to write about a character that I don’t want women to invest in, understand and maybe even relate to. In that vein, I would like to introduce you all to Tarley Anwen Hillis. She’s been living in my head for six years and I am completely in love with her. She has her flaws like all people but is a determined and dangerously curious character. There’s no such thing as International Women’s Day in her world because it’s not needed and I hope that if you gift me with taking the time to read her story you will see why. |
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